My oral exam in Irish tomorrow

I know, my last post is not that long ago but I feel like I have to write another post before my oral exam tomorrow! Let’s talk Irish! I’m really scared, so maybe this post will help!
Around 12 tomorrow morning (or noon) I will enter a room in #myUCD and stand (or sit?) in front of two (or three?) examiners (or experts of the Irish language). They will probably greet me first and say: Dia duit! And I will then proudly reply: Dia is muire doibh! So far, so good. The hard part will start after that. I will be given a short Irish text to read out loud for them. Happy pronunciation. Luckily, they already put the text (or a similar one) on the intranet and I could practise it a little. But, alas! then they will start asking questions. And there is nothing I can do about it. I’m just hoping I’ll understand them! You must know, there are three different accents of Irish. I mean there are three main ones. Not to mention all the different varieties I have never heard of. But the conversation will (hopefully) go somewhat like this:
Examiner: Cad is ainm duit? – What is your name? OR (in a rude way) Cé tusa? – Who are you?
Me: Aoife is ainm dom (EVA IS ANIM DOM).
Examiner: Conas atá tú? – Wie geht’s? – How are you?
Me: Tá mé go breá, ach tá mé neirbhíseach, go raibh maith agat. (There’s no way, I’ll give such a long answer but you can dream! But seriously, look at these words! How would YOU pronounce that?) – I am well, but I am nervous, thank you.
Examiner: Cad as duit? – Where are you from?
Me: Is an nGhermáin dom. – I am German (Deutsch!)
Examiner: Cá gcónaíonn tú? OR Cá bhfuil tú i do chónai? – Where do you live?
Me: Cónáim i mBaile Átha Cliath anois. – I live in Dublin(!) now.
Then the examiner might ask me (I hope he won’t) if I live on Campus. I do not. But I might not understand the question, so I will look confused and I might remember how to say EXCUSE ME? in Irish, which is TÁ BRÓN ORM? (But this little phrase can also mean I’M SAD, so I’m not sure if we made any progress by this point.) We will probably move on without an answer.
Examiner: Cén tsli bheata atá agat? – What profession do you have?
Me: Is mac léinn mé. – I am a student. Literally, it means I am a son-of-learning, so I might say “Is inion (daughter) léinn mé” instead. If I am in a feministic mood. But again, I’m not sure if you can actually say that.
Examiner: Cén aois duit? – How old are you?
Me (happy because I know that answer!): Tá mé trí bliana is fiche d’aois. – you have to figure this out, yourself! It’s not that hard.
Now we’re done with me and turn to me folks. Hahahahahaha…
Examiner: An bhfuil deartháir nó deirfúr agat? – Do you have any brother(s) or sister(s)? (For some reason they don’t use plural here.)
Me: Tá beirt deartháiracha (try saying this word! of course, NOW it’s plural!) agus deirfúr amhain agam. – I have two brothers and one sister.
Examiner: Cad is ainm dóibh (pronounced like the German word doof)? – What are their names?
I will then tell him their complicated German names and we will turn to their ages. Which is total fun because it’s already so easy to remember these in German! If you have more than one sibling, you’ll know what I mean. I think I will vary their ages a little bit, to make it as easy as possible.
Examiner: Cén aois iad? – How old are they?
Me: blablablablablabla
At least, I don’t have any pets. That makes it easier. But then there are still my parents, their complicated German names, their difficult ages and most importantly their strange jobs. Try to explain a job that doesn’t exist in any other country than Germany (as far as I know). I will just say that they’re teachers. Is muinteóirí iad. Oh, and then I almost forgot, I will have to talk about the weather in present, past and future tense. That’ll be fun! Tá sé ag cur báistí anocht. – It’s raining tonight.
Wish me luck! Luck o’ the Irish!


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